Transmorphers

I was at Blockbuster the other day and was suddenly hit by a wave of sadness. It wasn't because all copies of Ghosts of Girlfriends Past were checked out. It happened when I came across this:




Transmorphers? Really? I mean, if you're going to make a crappy rip-off of Transformers why not just make a GoBots movie? (I know GoBots came first but, come on, GoBots sucked.) The sole reason to rush this straight-to-DVD atrocity into video stores had to be to prey on parents who were either hurrying and not paying attention or who are so naive that they think their child can't tell the difference. And I don't understand it. I can understand buying your kid a pair of Adidos shoes with an extra stripe because they're $60 cheaper. But it costs exactly as much to rent Transmorphers as it does to rent Transformers.

So I had visions of some 10-year-old's birthday party. He and his friends are eating pizza and he is playing with his new Optimus Prime action figure. His mom pops in the DVD... and Transmorphers comes on. 

Now, here's the thing. Shelbi and I are very similar in this aspect. We know that when Elliott gets his hopes up about something and is then disappointed it is going to KILL us. Seriously. I mean, if my night can be dampened by a made-up scenario featuring a group of non-existent 10-year-old boys (some of whom were probably jerks anyway) then what am I going to do in a real-life situation like this with my son? Shelbi and I would both be beyond devastated to the point that we would want to instantly go and buy out Toys R Us of its Transformers toys to make it up to him. Now that's parenting.

But, judging from our little guy's personality already, I get the sense that he is going to be the type of kid who starts consoling US after a disappointment. In the few times he has been sick and we have been fussing over him incessantly, he has never cried even though he feels terrible. He just cuddles and touches our faces as if to say: "It's OK guys. I'll be better soon."

So in the above scenario, Elliott will probably be the kid to say: "It's fine. This movie isn't bad. We'll just watch it." While Shelbi and I play the role of the immature brats. "No, you're too young to understand just how terrible this is. We're not watching it." 

Posted by Matthew Sherman at 10/22/2009 9:09 AM
Categories: uncategorized

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