I have been pushing for Elliott to get a haircut for the past three months. He's 14 months and he still doesn't really even have enough to comb but he has been steadily working on a baby mullet for a while now. But every time I broached the subject I was met with "Oh, but I love his curls! He has curls! Don't you love his curls?" Today however, Shelbi somewhat spontaneously relented. For a while I've joked about her coming home to Elliott with a faux-hawk or his initials carved into the back of his head. I guess she thought there was a strong enough possibility of this actually happening that she took matters into her own hands.

She came out with the clippers first just to trim around his ears. I held him, Shelbi made her move, Elliott jerked. Sure enough, he had a nice little racing stripe above his right ear. Shelbi was mortified, especially since she is taking him to a baby shower tomorrow. But she was determined. She grabbed the scissors while I sang Eye of the Tiger to her. A few minutes later I was in the other room and I heard her shriek. 

In what would have been a perfect I Love Lucy sketch, Shelbi's attempts to rectify her first mistake turned even more disastrous as I came into the other room to find a chunk of hair missing from the left side of Elliott's head. She asked if I thought it looked bad and, for the record, saying he looked like Billy Bob Thornton in Sling Blade would not make any Right Things to Say list for that particular moment. And, surprisingly, asking if Elliott wanted 'french fried potaters' for lunch and suggesting to simply put a bowl on his head and shave everything beneath it were not good follow-ups to the situation.

But I thought it was hysterical and the story is worth the money we'll have to spend to have someone try and fix him tomorrow. Below are the results of Elliott's first hair cut.