There is a terrific scene in the movie 'Parenthood' where Rick Moranis is talking about how his three-year-old daughter is starting to learn Spanish and has flashcards of Latin roots. Steve Martin then looks over at his own son who has a bucket on his head and is repeatedly headbutting the wall. Even before he was born, Shelbi and I were convinced that this was going to parallel Elliott's first few years. Cue last week.

We agreed to babysit our friends' daughter for a few hours who is roughly two months older than Elliott. Our friends dropped Mila off and hurried off to a meeting. Elliott instantly ran over and treated her to aggressive hugs and kisses while Mila endured him and repeated "Baby's Sweet" while tactfully trying to pry herself from Elliott's grip. She then calmly walked over to our dog and politely pet him saying "Soft, friendly doggy!" Elliott countered by running to the dog, shrieking and waving his arms before landing two solid blows on Einstein's side, giggling and pulling him into a hug/chokehold.

The majority of the evening progressed similarly. Mila wowed us by asking politely for juice and played nicely with our blocks, stacking a few and then neatly putting them away. Elliott would vie for our attention by deliberately stepping on objects, intentionally tripping himself and then saying "Uh-oh!" before starting the process over.

The evening culminated with me reading a color and shapes book (appropriatrely titled 'Colors and Shapes') to the toddlers. I would point to an object and Mila would say 'banana' or 'heart' with perfect dainty diction. Elliott, with his mouth full of his own fingers, would simply grunt and indicate that he was bored with the current page. Mila's speech proficiency went from an amusement to disturbing when I pointed to a picture of some sticks of licorice and asked what it was and she responded with "rectangle." Now she was just showing off.

At that point Shelbi uttered "I think our boy's retarded" before quickly putting her hand over her mouth and glancing at Mila. The room went silent as our friend's daughter is a champion mimicker. For a split second Shelbi was convinced that she had just given Mila what was sure to be her new favorite word to be uttered profusely in grocery stores and at family functions for months to come. Fortunately she simply looked back down at the book, pointed to a picture of an elephant and said "mastadon!"